Making my dress my own

So as of my last post, it looks like most of you are leaning toward covering the wedding lovefest first. Before I can get to that, it's only right that I share with you the details of how Mama Frog and I were able to personalize my dress for the big day (and by Mama Frog and I, I mean Mama Frog - she's got skillz).

From here on out, I hand over the reigns and let her take you through the steps of how to make a silk sash and chiffon ribbon flower...go for it, Mom!

Hello hive - I'm thrilled to be here! I hope you enjoy the tutorial as much as I enjoyed creating it for you.

To Make the Silk Sash:

You will need 1/3 yard of silk shantung. Make sure that you have a straight edge when they cut the fabric at the store.

Cut (3) - three inch strips across the width of the silk fabric (If you don’t have good, sharp sewing shears, Michael's has shears by Martha Stewart for about $20.00).

Fray the edge on each side of the fabric strip by separating a thread and pulling it across (gently). I find it easiest to fray by holding the center of the strip while standing and letting the ends hang down. Carefully separate a single strand (of thread) and pull it out away from the strip. It should easily pull away to each end. Continue fraying until you have about a ¼ inch on each side of the strip. You will need to cut off the extra thread at each end.

I used a French seam to join the 3 strips together. To make a French seam –

1. Cut ½” off of the ends of each strip, making sure to cut a straight line.

2. Determine which side of the fabric is the right side (the side that you want to show). It should have more sheen to it.

3. Pin 2 wrong sides together (see photo below) and sew a ¼” seam. Trim the seam to 1/8”.

4. Fold the right sides together along the seam line and pin together.

5. Sew a ½” seam.

6. Press the seam to one side, pin and stitch in place near the outside edge - you will need to remove the pins as you sew this seam to prevent puckering.

Note – You can skip the last step and just press the seam to one side, if this is too difficult and you will still have a finished look.

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To Make the Chiffon Ribbon Flower:

You’ll need-

40” of 3” chiffon ribbon (without wire)

1” square of netting (for backing)

6 rhinestones for the center of the flower (sew or glue on)

Fabric glue for rhinestones (unless you are sewing on)

½” flat button to glue the rhinestones to (optional)

1. Lay out your ribbon and divide the ribbon into 4 equal sections. Place a mark at each section.

2. Starting at one end, sew a basting stitch (by hand) leaving 12” of thread at the beginning point for pulling later. Sew down the end, round the corner and sew across the bottom until you get to the end of your first section mark.

3. Continue basting back up to the top of the ribbon and then immediately back down again. Continue this process across the ribbon – ending with the basting going to the top of the end side (leave 12” of thread at this end also).

4. You should end of up with 4 sections.

5. Grab hold of the thread at each end and (very gently) pull, gathering the ribbon as you pull. It will start to take on the shape of 4 flower petals. Get your gathering as even as possible and gently shape the flower with your hands. When you are happy with it, tie off the thread ends together.

6. Take your 1” piece of netting and sew it onto the center of the back of the flower by hand.

7. Now you need to finish the center of the right side of the flower. You can sew rhinestones on or you can glue them on using fabric glue. It also works to use a flat button and sew the button onto the center of the flower and then glue the rhinestones to the button. (Make sure that you lay out the rhinestones on the button first to make sure that the button will be covered.

8. Now you can sew the chiffon flower onto the silk sash or attach a pin clasp to the back of the flower and pin it to the sash.

Ta-da!

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And there you have it my dear hive! Thanks Mom for the step-by-step tutorial, I have no idea how your sewing skills skipped a generation but I sure am glad that I was able to benefit from all of your hard work. :) Oh and get this, she actually made me a second sash for the reception which I'll show you later...it's very blingy. I keep telling her she should go into business, maybe this will be a fun jumping off point?

Also, can I just say...it was one of the most special parts of the wedding to be able to wear a piece that my Mom made for me. I will always treasure it - not only did it make my dress 100% unique, it was a symbol of the love and support she has given me throughout my life.

Are you planning to wear something that was handmade for you? Anyone planning to use the Frog tutorial to create your own sash or flower?

Details on the dress

So I know what you’re thinking…I totally left you hanging. And you’re right. I’m sorry friends, I had to wait until after the wedding to post the details on my dress – too many of our guests were reading the blog and I really wanted them to be surprised. Forgive me?

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Last we left off, I told you about my shopping trip to NYC and my brushes with fame! From there, Mama Frog and I headed to Designer Loft. The space is great and if you are looking for certain designers (I found a lot of Jenny Packham for example), this is a great spot to hit up. Unfortunately, I tried on quite a few dresses there and none really fit what I had been looking for.

We moved on to The Bridal Garden (a nonprofit that I had high hopes for) and once there, we realized that it would be extremely difficult to find a dress there. I really love the idea of buying from a nonprofit but unfortunately these dresses were pretty beat up…it would take a lot of alterations and a full cleaning to get them back to anywhere near ready for a wedding. Ultimately, not a good fit.

Next up, RK Bridal – a warehouse of sorts. They have rounds and racks throughout the store filled with gowns. You are to search through the dresses, find the ones you want and write your name on the list. They will call you when they are ready and off you go. It’s very different in that you get to walk around freely to look for dresses on your own. Personally I didn’t find anything there but I did see one bride have her “moment” while I was there and it was really fun to watch from the sidelines!

Lastly, and really on a whim, Mama Frog suggested we try to see if the Saks bridal salon had any openings. Saks…why hadn’t I thought of that during my crazy, type A, appointment scheduling madness? We called while on our way to lunch and found that they had an opening that afternoon – yippee! With a nice full belly (perfect for trying on dresses and getting half naked in front of a stranger), we headed to 5th Avenue!

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We arrived and were greeted by our salesperson, Melina. She is WONDERFUL and anyone interested in buying there should definitely ask for her – seriously the best salesperson we found in all of our shopping in the city. Melina lead us back to our fitting room and began asking about what I was envisioning, styles I liked, etc. She left the room and brought back the who’s who of bridal gowns. We’re talking Monique Lhuillier, Amsale, Carolina Herrera, Vera Wang, Reem Acra and Oscar de la Renta. I immediately felt very under dressed.

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One by one, the dresses missed the mark. I was starting to get very discouraged. Melina said she had a few more she wanted to bring in so I gave her free reign to pull what she thought would work. She brought back three dresses.

The first, an Amsale, was beautiful but too heavy for my occasion – I liked it but I knew it would be way too hot for an outdoor, summer wedding.

The second, a Monique, was Mama Frog’s favorite. As soon as it was clamped into place, she began to tear up. It was beautiful but I knew right away that this was not my dress. Our conversation was as follows:

Mom: Oh sweetie…. (tears welling up)

Me: Yeah it’s really pretty.

Mom: Oh…oh…(big sigh, hand on chest)

Me: Okay mom, I know you are loving this one but you need to put those tears away…this isn’t my dress.

Mom: Are you sure?? (shock and concern on her face)

Me: Yes, I’m sure. I know it’s what you have probably always envisioned but…it’s not my dress.

After explaining that it was just not what I had been searching for, however beautiful it was, she understood and we moved on to the final dress. Melina explained that she saved this one for last because it was her pick for me. I asked her how often she ends up picking dresses for her brides, all she did was smile. Hmm, I thought – this should be interesting. She showed me the dress on the hanger and I recognized it immediately. We had passed this dress on a mannequin as we walked into the bridal salon, it was a Vera. It was pretty but I really didn’t think much of it.

Then I tried it on.

Does anyone else look at this photo and look at my arms and think “I’ve got no strings to hold me down, to make me laugh or make me frown…” from Pinocchio? No? Just me?

It was the first time I was quiet the entire day. I didn’t know what the feeling of “the one” was supposed to feel like but I knew this one was unlike any others and I definitely felt something. After looking at it in the mirror in the room, then out in the big gallery area, then back in the fitting room. At this point, I knew this dress was a major contender…but the pressure to make a decision was just too much and I needed to sleep on it. Melina understood and let us know that her offer was good for the weekend.

That night Mama Frog was up with allergies and had a hard time sleeping. She began thinking about our day of shopping and her mind kept circling back to the Vera dress. Meanwhile, I was happily sleeping and dreaming of the very same dress. The next morning over breakfast I shared my dream with her and she told me of her thoughts in the middle of the night – it seemed as though this dress had chosen me just as much as I had chosen it. At that point, we called Saks, Melina was nice enough to squeeze us in during her lunch break (she’s amazing), she clamped me back into the dress and then, I just knew – this was my dress!

I can’t tell you how much I absolutely LOVED my dress. It’s classic and timeless yet chic and very fitting for our garden wedding. I felt more beautiful than I’ve ever felt on my wedding day and I can’t imagine having any other dress.

How did you choose your dress? Or did your dress choose you?

The dress hunt

My dress hunt began in New York City.

I was lucky to have been traveling there for work back in May of last year and having been somewhat newly engaged, I thought it could be great timing to take a look around for a dress. I mentioned the idea to my mom and she loved it…she loved it so much that she booked a ticket to come out at the end of my trip so I could stay a few extra days and we could do my dress shopping together!

I made quite a few appointments with some big bridal giants and after a grueling few days of work, I was excited to scour the city to find my dress.

First appointment, home to TLC’s “Say Yes to the Dress,” the one and only Kleinfeld.

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If you watch the show, my appointment was with Camille. She’s very nice but kinda scary in person – very intimidating looking. We talked about what I was looking for and the type of wedding I was having and she left to grab some dresses. She came back with a few that were…eh. After trying on a few more that weren’t really my style, she brought me back into the back room and there were HUNDREDS of dresses everywhere. Talk about intimidating. We looked through the racks for a bit, pulled a few and headed back to the fitting room. After those were a bust, she brought in the big guns. Yes, that’s right ladies…I got to meet the Randy Fenoli.

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He is just darling in person and he really does have a gift. Out of all the dresses I tried on at Kleinfeld, he brought in the only one that I liked. And he literally only brought one dress. He talked to me, found out what my style is and what I was looking for and brought in Amsale’s Serena:

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Although it wasn’t my dress, it was beautiful and I loved the crumb catcher top. I also loved the new bridal lingo I learned along the way.

Then it was on to Wedding Atelier.

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It was there that I had my second brush with a fashion celeb. My appointment was with a girl named Carol. Come to find out months later that it was Carol Hannah of Project Runway fame! At the time that we met, the show hadn’t aired yet so I didn’t know who she was…other than a really great stylist. I was thrilled to route her on when the show debuted and I’m still a huge fan of her designs. She gave me many beautiful dresses to try on (including my two runner-up options) and out of all of the places we went in NY, this was by FAR the best experience overall. When you arrive they ask you to remove your shoes and give you slippers to keep the floors clean. They also give you hand wipes so the dresses stay clean. They handle all of the dresses for you and it’s a very comfortable experience. I loved it there.

I had yet to find my dress…but the hunt continued.

Where do you think I headed next? Any ideas as to where I finally got my dress at?

A bride's recreational activity

Clearly I’m talking about shopping.

As a fun distraction from some of the complications that come from the planning process, I often enjoy a little web window shopping. There’s nothing wrong with looking…am I right?

My subject of this most recent binge…rehearsal dinner dress. There are so many cute options out there right now. Let us examine some of the front runners. I decided to include a variety since I sometimes pretend that my rehearsal dinner is being held in multiple locations – this is for your benefit, my dear readers. I do all of this research for you.

Now for the goodies:

I'm currently swooning over this lovely. I love the soft, subtle colors and the classic fit.

What about this great little tie-neck dress? I'm really digging that color.

I love the whole look of this fab little jacquard dress from BCBG. Swoon city.

Or this adorable sweetheart dress from Ruche. There will be quite a few from Ruche because I’m slightly obsessed with their site and in awe of how reasonably priced everything is.


One shoulder goodness - and polka dots? I die.

More ruffled goodness. And can I just say, I absolutely L O V E the color combination of deep purple and navy – it’s so elegant and classy. This might be one of my top runners…doesn’t hurt that Ruche has it priced at just $49.99!

Another FAB Ruche find – I’m loving the idea of having white as part of the dress (feels bridal) and yet there’s still a touch of color to keep it fun and relaxed. Not to mention it has probably the cutest name ever “Raspberry Parfait” – I die. This adorableness will set you back $48.99.

I’m beyond words for this dress. It’s not cheap ($110) but I could find a way to wear this pretty much everyday, which would mean that I could get my money out of it in no time. Do you like my logic? Yeah, so do my credit cards. Just gonna put it out there in case Frogger anyone needs ideas for gifts for me. Just saying.

If you were to choose, which would you pick? Does the type of wedding or location dictate what your rehearsal dinner dress will look like?

Forgive me for I have sinned

So I bought my dress in May....of 2009. May…as in twelve (TWELVE) months ago. It’s as if I can barely remember what it looks like. And don’t worry, I will include the “story that is my dress” in an upcoming post but for now, I need go to confession.

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I’ve been…for lack of a better term, wavering about my dress choice. When I first tried it on, I was completely in love and as time has gone on, I’ve been teased by all of the gorgeous dresses I’m seeing in blogs, magazines and through all of the stalking perusing I do online. My only solace is that I’ve heard this is normal…for the most part…so I tried my best to ignore and move on. Because it’s true, I really did LOVE my dress – but after not seeing it for so long, it’s hard to remember what it looks like…and more importantly, what it makes me feel like when I'm wearing it.

Yeah…I’m weak. I admit it. And yeah…I gave in. There was one dress that just kept popping up and it seemed as though she was beckoning me to find her. She’s been very persistent. I really didn’t have a choice, I’m telling you. It wasn’t me, it was her. I stand by my story.

So while away on business, I called around and found that one bridal salon had her in the store so I made an appointment and anxiously awaited our first date.

I arrived right on time and met Katie, our chaperone. She showed me to a lovely fitting room and I proceeded to undress. I should note this is very UNlike my first date with Frogger (much to his dismay – ha!). Katie whisked back the curtain while holding Bali – my date. She was a bit tousled and dingy…also a different color than what I wanted but, it would do.

I decided to try on a few others first, to get a feel for some similar looks – I really wanted to save Bali for last, like dessert. I should also mention, I was lucky enough to have two of my bridesmaids with me – who were also in town for the same work event. I just love when that happens.

As I came out with each new dress, the girls did the requisite oohing and aahing. Second to last, I came out with a dress on that was extremely similar to the dress I currently owned and hadn’t seen since last May. They both about fell over. I couldn’t get a word in, they just LOVED this dress. Hmm, this was going to be a tough act to follow…look smart Bali, we’ve got our work cut out for us.

I headed back to the dressing room and met with Bali. Once on, I looked in the mirror.

It's nice…

That’s really all I could think. It was so different than any other I had tried on, I wasn’t sure if that’s what I liked about it or if it was that I actually liked it on me. I received my answer when I approached the girls.

It's nice…

That’s about it. They waited for my reaction. And I really didn’t know. I opened up the floor for opinions. They both expressed concern in the cut for the bodice – “it’s REALLY bare, you don't usually show skin like that - will you be comfortable?" and then scrutiny turned to the seams in the skirt “are they supposed to show like that?” Yeah, I got my answer.

I tried on the dress that resembled my current dress one more time. It was a resounding YES! I left feeling much better and grateful to my friends for being honest. Afterward, as we were having lunch…okay cocktails…I looked at the photos Bridesmaid Big Apple snuck of me in Bali. It was even more clear to me that it was definitely NOT my dress. It was a beautiful dress and I’ve seen it look absolutely gorgeous on a few different brides including the gorgeous Mrs. Piglet (who was one of the brides that convinced me I needed to try it on) but it was definitely was not flattering on me.

I can’t tell you how much of a relief it was to have checked into it and now know that I have no reason to doubt the choice I made many months ago. {SIGH}

Anyone else a sinner? Anyone else almost cheat on their dress? Fess up.

Couture dress minus couture price part 2

Hi friends…we are still friends, right? I’m sorry I made you wait but I had good reason! I really feel like these ones are a total steal. Oh, and if you missed part 1, check it out for more great ideas! Without further ado…

Want this gorgeous Monique? Read on ladies…

Go pre-loved. Sites like Recycled Bride and Preowned Wedding Dresses are a great resource. Can you imagine paying a fraction of the cost of a designer gown…we’re talking at least half off for a Vera (hello lover), Monique or Amsale. Oh? I have your attention now? I see. Here's an idea of the process that was given to me by Tracy of Recycled Bride, it’s kinda brilliant:

1. This $2,800 Priscilla of Boston “Molly” dress is being pre-sold on RecycledBride.com right now for $2,000. (A pre-sale means that the bride hasn’t worn the dress yet and wants to secure a buyer for immediately after her wedding).
2. Buy this dress for $2,000.
3. Spend approximately $100 on shipping with insurance.
4. Spend approximately $300 on alterations (tip: see if your seamstress can avoid cutting away length and pin it instead).
5. Spend approximately $250 for high quality professional cleaning after your wedding.
6. Re-list the dress and sell for $1700 – at 40% off its retail price, finding a buyer should be a piece of cake! Plus, you help another budget conscious bride wear her dream dress! Hello warm fuzzies.
   

Total cost for a $2,800 Priscilla of Boston designer couture gown? Anyone have a guess? This Froggie did the math – $950! Now THAT’S a deal! There are plenty more to choose from, so if this is the option that sounds best to you – get a move on!

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Buy from a past season. This is probably my favorite option because it’s one that most people don’t know about and salespeople don’t talk about. It also may have something to do with the fact that this is the route I took.

To go about getting your dress this way, I would suggest researching past collections by designers you love and see if there are any that catch your eye. Collections are introduced twice a year, once in the fall and once in the spring. For example, if you decided to shop for your dress in the summer of 2009, you would probably get a good deal on a dress from a collection that debuted in spring 2008 (if they have anything from fall 2007, wow – major deal). These are the dresses that will most likely be on their way out very soon to make room for the new collections. You will have the most luck going about this by visiting a major department store such as Saks or NM. Aaaand, if you target your visit around a trunk show…even more discounts! Another little secret, these bigger stores can also run gift card events – if you purchase merchandise over a certain amount and either open a company credit card (10% off first purchase – ching, additional $$ off!) or put it on your existing company credit card, you can get a gift card up to almost $500 sometimes. That can easily pay for alterations and possibly even a veil or other accessories.

Quick review of money savers (and speaking from experience, it’s possible to do all of this – I did):

• Dress from previous season = lower cost than current offerings
  
• Purchase during trunk show event for your chosen designer (10-20% off)
  
• Open company credit card (10% off first purchase)
• Purchase during a gift card event (up to $500 gift card)
  

Hopefully this gives all you budget-conscious brides some good ideas and if you have any other tips, definitely leave them below – we’re all in this together ladies, spread the love. :)

Couture dress minus couture price part 1

Ladies – let’s get serious…we ALL want a couture gown. I don’t care if you’re punk, hippie, yuppie or nerd (I fall into that last category), every one of us would love to find a couture gown that fits our personality and fits in our price range. The problem is that most of us simply can’t afford it…well, unless we decide to buy the dream dress and get married at a courthouse – which could be a dream come true for some but according to statistics, not most. So, the big question is, how do you score a couture dream dress within your budget? There are a few options, some that will not come as a surprise to see here and one or two that may have you cracking open a bottle of wine to celebrate. I’ve got my glass next to me, feel free to join in.

Hi Vera, I love you.

Because there are quite a few options, I’ve broken this into two posts…I love creating suspense – even if it’s just in my imagination.

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Trunk shows. Almost everyone is familiar with a trunk show once they begin the hunt for a dress. But for any newbies that are starting their searches, basically, the designer sends a representative to the store (or sometimes will attend themselves) for a few select days – typically over a weekend. During that time, they bring dresses that are normally not samples available at that store – they are always available for purchase through the store since the designer is carried there but they don’t always have every sample of every dress that is made in stock. It gives you an opportunity to try on many dresses by one designer. If you decide to purchase during a trunk show, you will get a discount – usually between 10-20% (negotiate, negotiate, negotiate - perhaps you can get a complimentary veil or money off of your alterations, it never hurts to ask) and if there are any changes that you’d like made to the gown, it’s a great time to ask about them because a designer rep is there and can tell you what can and cannot be done.

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Sample sales. Sample sales are probably the most logical choice for finding a nice dress at a good discount. You aren’t guaranteed to find a “couture” dress at a sample sale but depending on where you go, there’s a chance. Typically these dresses are a bit worn-in and may need to be cleaned/repaired but overall, if you can find one you love, you’ll get it for cheaper than it was originally priced and cheaper than it would be at a trunk sale. Score!

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Running of the brides. Okay, if you live east of the Mississippi, you are probably familiar with this term and the insanity that can ensue when one of these events takes place...you may also remember Mrs. Toucan's post on her experience. Filene’s Basement has sales at different locations where dresses are marked extremely low. Here’s the thing, unlike a sample sale where you will have a bit more control and organization, this is more of a cattle call...but a very pretty cattle call. :) Girls usually arrive in teams, stake a place within the store and grab armfuls of dresses at a time, hoping to find one that might be a fit. I’ve heard of girls getting VERY lucky and I’ve heard of girls buying dresses only to sell them (or try to sell them) later after realizing it was an affordable, impulse purchase. So, if you are looking for a very specific type of dress, you may not have a lot of luck here – but if you are looking for a common silhouette or neckline or fabric, etc. then you could end up really getting an incredible deal. Oh, I should mention…brides and their “teams” begin camping out the night before these sales – you’ve been warned.

Find an incredible seamstress. Now this is for those not afraid of taking a risk. If you find a dream dress that is completely out of your price range, you can try to find a way to have it made. You have to put a LOT of trust in your seamstress and cross your fingers that the dress will turn out the way you hope for. The good part of this option is that you have a say in pretty much every part of the process. You can help with picking out the fabric, you can add straps, take away beading, pretty much make the dress exactly what you want. This will easily be much cheaper than buying a couture gown and you could end up with an identical version or something you love even more. My only advice here would be to research, research, research before you book your seamstress. Ask for testimonials, photos and recommendations to make sure you find someone that will understand your vision and be able to accomplish it.

And I hate to do this but I have to save my favorite and most secret tip for the next post…don’t hate me. :)

Did you go one of these routes? How did you find your dress?