Generations

I realized the other day that I have yet to share my personal approach to the ceremony and how I’ve decided to walk down the aisle.

I won’t delve too far in but my parents divorced when I was young and my dad moved out to Arizona while I grew up with my mom in Michigan. My mom and I are extremely close – she was an incredible mother, example and support and now she’s an advisor, rock and more than anything, best friend. I’m so blessed to have the relationship that I do with her and I am grateful everyday that I had her to look up to while I was growing up. The sacrifices she made, gave me the best life possible.

With my dad living so far away, I would fly out to visit a few times a year and eventually when I graduated high school, I saw it as an opportunity to move out west, spend more time with my dad and go to Arizona State. So, that’s exactly what I did.

(source)

This may sound odd, but with the relationship that I had with my mom, I had always pictured her walking me down the aisle. I know that traditionally it’s supposed to be the father but it really never seemed like the right fit. Unfortunately, that decision was made for me. Just a few days before I graduated ASU my dad passed away. It was a very big shock and he was far too young to have gone so soon. The sadness has eased slightly with time but it’s never easy to lose someone you love.

I’ve been blessed with an incredible mother and she was blessed with an incredible mother – my Grammie. I’m extremely close to my grandmother, I have spent more nights than I can remember at her house. We go there for every holiday, birthday and special occasion. She is the heart of our family and one of the most important people in my life. She is strong, funny, independent, stubborn, enjoys cooking/entertaining and loves to dance. If I didn’t know that I was describing her, I’d think it was me.

As I’ve gone through the wedding process, I’ve realized how my initial gut feeling of having my mom walk me down the aisle has continually rang true and it lead me to the decision that I wanted nothing more than to have the two women who have shown me the best example of who I could be, to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. I also plan to have a memorial for my dad (along with other loved ones who have passed).

My biggest concern is how emotional it will be to have both of them on my arm and even now, I’m tearing up thinking about looking into their eyes when we arrive at the end of the aisle. Their support has always meant the world to me and this day wouldn’t be complete without this special moment with them.

Could they be any more fun?

So, Mom, Grammie, I love you both more than I can possibly say. Thank you for all that you have done to support me and for the unconditional love you have given me.

Are you planning an unconventional approach to your walk down the aisle?

A little something extra

So after deciding that nudity is not allowed at the wedding, we finally decided on linens for the tables – as I discussed here.

After looking at a mock-up and knowing that we will have clear plastic plates (albeit very nice ones…but clear plastic all the same) I knew I wanted to have something to dress up the table a bit more. And so began the hunt for silver chargers.

(source)

At the end of my linen post, I posed a question about finding chargers and wouldn’t you know it…a superfab WB reader came to my rescue (thanks azwinelover)! My little charger angel was located right here in Phoenix and happened to have chargers sitting in storage from her wedding last year. The catch? They were bronze.

And then my new friend presented me with the brilliant idea she had when she first got them. You see, when she got them, they were gold. She needed bronze – so this little smarty pants decided to try spray painting them. Ah ha! Seriously, how did I not think of that? Hello bride brain, great to see you again.

She offered to let me take one and give it a try, if it worked I could take them all for a great price and if not, she’d take it back, no big deal. Have I mentioned that she’s my charger angel? Did I also mention that she suggested we meet at Total Wine because she was running an errand there…I’m pretty sure that our shared love of wine isn’t hurting this situation.

So off to Home Depot I went, in search of silver spray paint. I picked up both primer and paint then headed home to give it a whirl.

I set up a box (thanks Crate & Barrel registry) to use as a back to prop up the charger (otherwise the spray paint wouldn’t come out easily if pointed down) and got to work.

First I primed that sucker, I moved slowly back and forth – being sure to start the spray on the box then move over the charger and end on the box. I learned that if you don’t do this, you end up with way too much extra on the sides because you are doubling up as you move back the other direction.

I let the primer sit for one hour, then I sprayed with the silver paint. I let it sit for 30 minutes and did a second coat. Normally that was enough…it was only in instances where I didn’t follow my own advice and had too much build up on the sides where I had to do a third coat to even it all out.

Overall I was thrilled with the result. I’m planning to start a big assembly line to complete the rest and it should be done in no time.

Were there any “ah ha” moments during your planning process?

Setting the mood

Usually when you think about music for the wedding, you immediately think of the reception. You know, your uncle doing the white man’s overbite, your drunk friend waving her arms and shaking her rump (yep, I said it…hello 1994) and who can overlook the ambitious family friend starting an infamous dance circle.

And all of those things are fine and good…but before there can be a reception, there must be a ceremony. So let’s talk ceremony music.

For the most part, Frogger left the processional music up to me. He definitely wanted to hear it and have a final say but he trusted my judgment to come up with ideas that would fit for the mood of our big day. One thing we both wanted was for the songs to have meaning, either words that said what we felt or songs that reminded us of moments we’ve shared together.

First up – the music for the maids and men.

This song speaks to us in that way where it says the words you are always thinking when you look in the eyes of the one you love. You can’t help but feel love when listening to this song and the piano version is simply lovely.

Next – my big entrance.

Not only is this song beautiful both musically and lyrically, it holds special meaning for us as a couple. Warning, flashback ahead:

When Frogger and I first started dating, my birthday was just a few weeks after we made things “official.” At the time, I was the last person on the planet without a DVD player so he gave me one for my birthday – he’s such a catch. Along with the DVD player, he gave me a movie that he knew I loved. Don’t judge…Flashdance.

Now seeing as how he’s a dude and this really isn’t a dude movie, it became old fast that the only movie I could offer when he came over was this one. So, we quickly decided we needed another movie for those nights when we just wanted to cuddle up and watch a flick. We (okay, mostly I) decided to get How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. I can’t even come close to telling you how many times we watched that movie during those first few months together.

There is a scene in that movie when you see them start to actually fall in love and the song that’s playing is the song above. It’s a beautiful song and one that has major meaning for us as a couple since it spans back 7 years to when we were just two kids in like….on the road to in love. I love the fact that it will be the song I come down the aisle to and it will be the song that he remembers hearing when he sees me.

Now moving beyond the mush, our announcement song for when we walk back up the aisle.

We wanted to choose a song that was fun, lighthearted and allowed us to show a little personality, dancing our way back up the aisle and helping to send the message that the party can begin! We can’t wait to see our bridal party in action as we all break it down.

How did you come up with the songs for your ceremony? Do they have special meaning in your relationship?

The dress hunt

My dress hunt began in New York City.

I was lucky to have been traveling there for work back in May of last year and having been somewhat newly engaged, I thought it could be great timing to take a look around for a dress. I mentioned the idea to my mom and she loved it…she loved it so much that she booked a ticket to come out at the end of my trip so I could stay a few extra days and we could do my dress shopping together!

I made quite a few appointments with some big bridal giants and after a grueling few days of work, I was excited to scour the city to find my dress.

First appointment, home to TLC’s “Say Yes to the Dress,” the one and only Kleinfeld.

(source)

If you watch the show, my appointment was with Camille. She’s very nice but kinda scary in person – very intimidating looking. We talked about what I was looking for and the type of wedding I was having and she left to grab some dresses. She came back with a few that were…eh. After trying on a few more that weren’t really my style, she brought me back into the back room and there were HUNDREDS of dresses everywhere. Talk about intimidating. We looked through the racks for a bit, pulled a few and headed back to the fitting room. After those were a bust, she brought in the big guns. Yes, that’s right ladies…I got to meet the Randy Fenoli.

(source)

He is just darling in person and he really does have a gift. Out of all the dresses I tried on at Kleinfeld, he brought in the only one that I liked. And he literally only brought one dress. He talked to me, found out what my style is and what I was looking for and brought in Amsale’s Serena:

(source)

Although it wasn’t my dress, it was beautiful and I loved the crumb catcher top. I also loved the new bridal lingo I learned along the way.

Then it was on to Wedding Atelier.

(tiny online picture source)

It was there that I had my second brush with a fashion celeb. My appointment was with a girl named Carol. Come to find out months later that it was Carol Hannah of Project Runway fame! At the time that we met, the show hadn’t aired yet so I didn’t know who she was…other than a really great stylist. I was thrilled to route her on when the show debuted and I’m still a huge fan of her designs. She gave me many beautiful dresses to try on (including my two runner-up options) and out of all of the places we went in NY, this was by FAR the best experience overall. When you arrive they ask you to remove your shoes and give you slippers to keep the floors clean. They also give you hand wipes so the dresses stay clean. They handle all of the dresses for you and it’s a very comfortable experience. I loved it there.

I had yet to find my dress…but the hunt continued.

Where do you think I headed next? Any ideas as to where I finally got my dress at?

Getting my hair did

Since I got myself a little haircut today, I figured it was the perfect time to talk about wedding day hair. Can I just say, a haircut on a Monday morning – seriously such a great way to start a new week. Cue cheesy music.

Oh and I should clarify…haircut = trim. I’m one of many brides that’s growing out the mane for the wedding. Will I do a PWC (post-wedding chop), you ask? Only time will tell my friends…

For now, I’m thinking about options for wedding day hair. I think I’ve narrowed it down to two. Let’s explore, shall we?

(source)

(source)

I have to say that I love the look of loose waves. If I could wear my hair everyday like those lovely ladies above, I totally would. I also love that this hair lends itself to the environment – lake, summertime, vineyards – it feels very natural. My other thought on this style is that I typically wear my hair down and on my wedding day, I want to look like a glammed up version of myself so wearing it down seems like a very good option. up, might not be the most ideal choice if I’m wanting to look and feel like myself…hmm.

(source)

(source)

Chignon. Not only is it fun to say, it’s lovely to look at too. I love the simple, classic feel and if done somewhat loose, it will still have that natural look I’m going for. I feel like these really work with my “garden chic” theme. Not to mention that it would keep me cool since it would be off of my neck…and with summer heat, that’s definitely noteworthy.

Sooooo…thoughts my friends? Should I go down or up? What are you planning to do?

Over the moon

*Happy Anniversary Frogger. I love you more than words can say and I can't wait to marry you.*

A while back I wrote about our favorite type of vacation, need a refresher?

So I'm sure it will come as no surprise that Frogger and I ultimately decided to take a cruise for our honeymoon.

(source)

Sorry about that, Frogger and I have decided to start watching the show Lost now that it's completely over, we're freaks. And almost every episode does a flashback to remind you of what was on the previous episode - that gets pretty old when you are watching multiple episodes in a row. Yeah, we're totally lame and are doing nothing after dinner but watching a show that is no longer on the air.

Digress much? Okay back to the good stuff...like this:

(source) Can I please go here...now?

We knew we wanted to go somewhere we had never been. And we are most definitely beach people so it needed to be warm with lots of opportunities for lounging in the sun - preferably with cocktails. What? I'm just keeping it real.

We had already done cruises to all over Mexico - go figure, huh? And when we got engaged, we visited both Belize and Guatemala. So that narrowed things down to either the Caribbean or Hawaii. Luckily that decision was made pretty easily because good friends of ours are getting married in February in Hawaii. Second honeymoon anyone?

So to the Caribbean we go. We knew we wanted to go for longer than 7 days because this might be the only time we are able to justify taking that much time away from work. My awesome bosses gave me an extra week of vacation time so I'm thrilled we will actually be able to take a long, relaxing honeymoon.

After searching all of the usual sites in our cruising arsenal, we reached out to a travel agent to see if she was able to find anything better. Ultimately, we found the absolute best deal through the cruiseline directly, if you can believe it. But we like to work the system so after booking it through the cruiseline website, we passed all of our information off to our travel agent and she was able to secure us onboard credits - yippee!

I've done quite a bit of talking here...how about the details?

Here's our cruise ship. Ahoy!

Did I really just type "ahoy" up there? Yikes. So yes, that is our lovely ship. We will be spending 10 glorious nights in a balcony room - in the past the nicest we have had is an ocean view room so we are stoked. Wanna see where we are going? I thought you might.

Antigua

Barbados

St. Thomas

The cruiseline's private island in the Bahamas

St. Kitts

And I saved my favorite for last - my one request of a Caribbean cruise was that we had to stop in.....

St. Lucia!

I can hardly take it. We feel so lucky to have been able to book a honeymoon that we will love.

We have yet to book any excursions but I will say, there is one that we are pretty sure is a must:

It's called BOSS - Breathing Observation Submersible Scooter

Has anyone done this? I'm dying to try it! Note to self, bring underwater camera.

Anyone else taking a cruise for their honeymoon? Any suggestions for additional excursions if you've been to these islands?

Please don't keep us in suspense

So we’re at that time…the time when we should be having floods of RSVPs arriving in our cute, little mailbox. Did you see how I said should? Yeah.

We’re a week away from our RSVP deadline and we are still waiting on over half of our RSVPs to come back. Nervous? No…no, I always look like this.

(source)

And here’s the kicker: our own family members are dragging their feet. Granted, I pretty much know who of them is coming and isn’t coming but still, that’s not the point. Same goes for the bridal party – hear that everyone? Ahem. We didn’t design and print up those adorable little RSVP cards, then secretly number them with the spy pen and stamp them for them to not be sent back. Not to mention that we have that great little space on the back for people to write well wishes or draw us pictures.

Speaking of…would you like to see some of the fantastic “artists” that will be attending our wedding? I thought you might. If there is anything that has made the waiting on RSVPs easier, it’s knowing that when one arrives in our mailbox, there’s a good chance we will have major entertainment inside that little envelope.

Behold the skillz:

Froggie kitty sign of approval

From my talented cousin and groomsman.

From our good friends in Seattle – this is actually part of a joke from their wedding, we loved it.

Although this one is labeled as from Frogger’s brother, we’re pretty sure this is the brilliant work of his lovely wife. Clearly she has us pegged. Hey, don’t laugh.

From our friends in Florida, we are thrilled they are going to be able to fly up to celebrate with us.

From our fellow wedding planners, these two are tying the knot in Hawaii in Feb – can’t wait! PS – this is what the majority of our time is like when we are in Chelan, I couldn’t have drawn it better. Drew it better? Yeah, I blame any grammar issues on bride brain.

From Frogger’s cousins who just had a baby, we can’t wait to see them.

From another of Frogger’s cousins – personally I love the stick figures since that’s on par with my skills and we are so excited they can come. They live in Nashville so I will finally get the chance to meet them.

I will say, after going through the RSVPs and looking back at the fantastic responses we have received, I definitely feel better about the situation. In addition to drawings (which we have received quite a few, I couldn’t include them all here), we have also gotten so many wonderful well wishes – we feel very loved.

So my question is this…with the deadline looming, am I right to be a little concerned about the low number we have received thus far? How many have/did you receive when you were about a week out from your deadline? Do I need to start throwing elbows?

That lovely wedding day glow

Aside from the expected inner glow I’ll have on my wedding day (squeee!), I started thinking about my outer glow…i.e. to tan or not to tan? It actually started a while back when bridesmaid Creeker and I were discussing one of the things she learned from her wedding – beware of invisible tan lines.

I know it sounds crazy since I live in the desert but most people here don’t really spend much time laying out, hanging by the pool, etc. Then again, that could be a different story if we had a pool…no, I’m not bitter, why do you ask? At the moment, I have visible tan lines that have taken up residence for months now and despite my best efforts to get rid of them, they seem to have become one with my skin.

(source) Gorgeous bride wearing a beautiful dress that unfortunately shows off her tan lines quite well.

I’m less than two months away from the wedding and I’m weighing my options. PS – can I also add how irritating it is that boys don’t have to worry about this?

(source) Let's just pretend that we have beaches like this in Arizona...a girl can dream.

Option 1: Chance it and try desperately to even out the tan between now and then.

(source) Am I the only one that thinks of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory when looking at this photo?

Option 2: Fork out extra cash that’s not in the budget to experiment with spray tan.

(source) Anyone remember this scene from Bride Wars?

Option 3: Find a tan-in-a-bottle that won’t turn me orange.

Knowing that I will be spending the days before the wedding (hopefully) on the boat with our friends, I did have the foresight to purchase a bathing suit that is suitable for sunning in relation to my dress.

(source) Thanks for the discount Vicky, you’re a peach.

Although it’s not helping the bottom line, I’m leaning toward the spray tan option. My real concern is that I’ve never done it before so I’ll need to give it a try somewhat soon to make sure it agrees with my skin and I don’t have some sort of crazy allergic reaction….which is quite possible knowing my skin.

Has anyone tried spray tan before or have a good recommendation for tan-in-a-bottle? What option would you go with?

Who gets to wear white?

In my opinion…that color dress is reserved for the bride.

(source)

I’ve had multiple discussions about this with friends, family and within the online wedding world. It’s definitely a heated topic, depending on who you talk to. Personally, I live in the camp that respects the tradition of the bride being the only person in a white dress on the wedding day. I know some people probably think that’s kinda bitchy but as a soon-to-be-bride, I have waited a long time to wear a beautiful white wedding gown and can only hope that guests will understand and respect that.

Have you ever been to a wedding where a woman other than the bride is wearing a white dress?

I have.

Personal photo from the wedding I attended – see the bride in the background?

I won’t name names to protect the innocent (and the guilty) but I was not the only person who noticed this white dress guest and I heard many a murmur during the cocktail hour. It was surprising how much of a stir it caused – head shakes, eye rolls…nobody really knows if she meant to wear it on purpose or if she just wasn’t up on typical wedding protocol. I will say, in her defense, that if you haven’t been married/been in weddings/planning a wedding, etc. then there is a chance you aren’t familiar with this faux pas…and in her case, she was around 24 years old, never been married and dating a cousin of the groom. I like to think it was an accident but I really can’t help but wonder if she was interested in getting attention.

I guess, for me, ultimately it comes down to this thought: You know what the bride will be wearing – most likely a white dress – so wouldn’t you automatically pick something else, anything else? Honestly, every other color is on the menu…take your pick, just don’t pick white. And really – how many cute white dresses are out there and out of the options in someone’s closet, why choose the white one?

And since I’ve seen this conversation get heated in the past, let’s keep in mind that we are all entitled to our own opinion. What do you think? Are you with me in the white-only-for-the-bride camp or are you in the laid back, eh…who really cares camp?